Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
