Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
