I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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