just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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