if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
