i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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