this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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