I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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