$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
