O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
