I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
