About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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