K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
