Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
