idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
