she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
