i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
