yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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