I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
