ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
