so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
