wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
