My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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