she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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