It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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