i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We have started to decorate penises.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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