My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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