Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
