so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
