I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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