I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
