I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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