reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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