Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
