shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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