I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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