question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize