Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize