I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize