Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
