Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
