im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
