I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize