@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
