What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize