You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
