We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
