I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
