You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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