eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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