I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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