I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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