She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
