Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
