We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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