I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
