apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
